Why do people stick labels on others? I am particularly sensitive to this issue as the mother of two sons with Tourettes. Just because they “tic” doesn’t mean they are misfits. In fact, they are probably two of the most sensitive and caring people because they have been unfairly judged throughout their lives.
I wrote a blog post a couple of weeks ago, “Please Don’t Judge Me”, because I felt labeled as a bad mother by people who misjudged my parenting skills when I was struggling with my sons before they were diagnosed.
Shortly after 9-11, my sons’ babysitter described her experience as a Muslim in the City of Toronto. Suddenly she was labeled as a potential threat. Colleagues she had worked with for years started avoiding her at lunchtime. She is one of the kindest people I know and it broke my heart to hear her stories.
How about recent immigrants to Canada who arrived with high hopes yet are now underemployed with lousy pay despite their ample professional qualifications? Gay people have been subjected to discrimination for years. It doesn’t seem to matter what your issue, for example, overweight, underweight, special needs … some people just love to stick a label on.
Even my dog is a victim of labeling because German Shepherds have a bad rap. She is actually a “pussy cat” in a big dog’s body but people will cross over to the other side of the street to avoid her. Check out this photo of her with a bird we rescued last summer. She spent every day protecting this bird until it was strong enough to fly away on its own. Does this look like a mean and vicious dog to you?
Probably all of us have been labeled at some point in our lives. And it hurts! I was particularly impressed by the following video produced by Mabel Labels titled, “More Than Just a Label”.
http://www.morethanjustalabel.com/
The only label I’d like to hear people using is “judgmental” towards the people perpetuating these stereotypes. Other than that, no labels should be used except, of course, the type used to label your kids’ clothing so it doesn’t get lost at school.
What’s the label that has been slapped on your head? Please feel free to share your stories.
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Hi I am writing, as I am new to your blog. And want to agree with you completely about the labels. My daughter was diagnosed on March 4 with a rare genetic disorder called Williams Syndrome.
Our children are not different they are special, and we get to experience something no one else does.
Plus who decides whats normal and average? Isnt everyone different and develop on their own time.
And I hate how the norm is now to label, judge, criticize and stare and once you tell them whats wrong they are like “oh im so sorry”
yet they were quick to judge in the first place….. our kids are blessings in our life nad god gave them to us because he knew we would do whats best
god bless your family on this adventure
Dear Jessica,
I am very touched by what you wrote and I think you expressed it perfectly … who gets to decide what is normal & average? I have never heard of Williams Syndrome before but I will google it. I am also going to head over to your blog site now. Thank goodness for the support of other understanding parents!
Sincerely,
Karyn
Karyn – thanks for sharing the video! Jessica, I have two friends with sons who have Williams syndrome. They are thriving and a joy to everyone!!
Thanks Julie! When I first realized I was the parent of special needs kids, I felt so alone but I have come to realize there are lots of us out there. Thank goodness for support groups and the social media network!
What a great article. I remember when we were flying back from Costa Rica, there was a little boy on the plane who was screaming so loud, it was ear piercing. So many people complained and muttered under their breath. The mom was flying alone with 3 kids and what could she really do? It was annoying yes, but I wondered, what if there is something going on with that little boy that we don’t know about? Better not to judge and be critical. I felt her pain, I felt his pain.
Dear Michele,
If only everyone had your attitude. There are lots of things in life that are inconvenient and annoying but hopefully everyone will show us the same courtesy you showed that mother when we are struggling too!
Sincerely,
Karyn
I am unfortunately labeled for many things. One being my chronic pain (she’s a druggie, drug abuser, addicted to pain meds, faking, she just doesn’t want to work etc.) and the other is my mental illness. It is just so so so sad that people are so quick to put a label on you when they don’t even know you.
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Great article, Karyn
It’s something I feel very strongly about too. I grapple with how much to share on twitter and on the internet because so many labels and flippant words fly around.
I cherish a lot of amazing, incredible people who are just that, period.
Labeling is so hurtful. I have even seen preschool teachers do it with kids. Just makes my blood boil!
Teachers should know better! Thanks for visiting my blog site and posting a comment.
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A lot of people has been affected by this social problem. Labeling is not good… i think this is one of the most influential thing that directly affects a person’s self concept. I hope more people realize this and that they become more aware and sensitive to the feelings of others.
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Thanks Cleo for visiting my blog site and posting your comments. Looking forward to checking out your blog site too!